The bread guy is running for president. God help us all. Ornald Frumph woke at 3:14 a.m. to a loaf of bread singing the national anthem, and took it as a sign. His mission: unite a divided America through the power of perfectly risen dough. He has a converted school bus. A talking sourdough starter with a philosophy degree. An AI recipe assistant that once recommended a bake-off in a lake. A 47% tariff on croissants. A memecoin called $LOAF. And absolutely no idea what he's doing. What follows is a national bread war, a leaked campaign group chat, a rival candidate whose speeches are written by a machine, a trial by pretzel, a shadowy organization known only as the Muffin Men, and the most delicious mess in the history of American democracy. "A machine that's never been wrong has never been anywhere." MAKE AMERICA BAKE AGAIN is a short, sharp, screenshot-a-line satire for anyone who has stopped being sure whether the news is a parody. Read it in one sitting. Argue about it at dinner. Twenty-two chapters. Twenty-two Frumphisms. One surprisingly fine loaf.
"Ask a stranger their politics and you get a fight. Ask their bread and you get a table."
"Never trust a muffin that smiles too much."
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